Asking Yourself The Right Questions : A Piece Of The Success Puzzle
We are all good at asking other people questions, yet not so good at directing towards ourselves…
When it comes to personal development this is a pretty important issue, for without asking questions of ourselves we will never gain insight. Think of the amount of time you have attributed blame to someone in your lifetime; contrast that against the amount of time you have blamed yourself for something. It is much easier to accept our misfortune as the consequence of others or events outside our control. For a moment, I ask you to think about how honest you really are with yourself.
For decades many psychologists have considered individuals who have heard their inner voices as bordering on the edge of sanity. But, if you look carefully at the many great spiritual leaders, scientists, artists, musicians and social leaders, they regularly listened to their inner voices. They gratefully awakened this special inner conversation regularly. This may sound a bit fancy, but believe me when I say that not only is it real, it’s happening right now.
It would probably surprise you to know the amount of success that comes to people who can answer questions about themselves with honesty and accuracy, key to achieving this is the ability to phrase a question. A good question should contain precise key words that make an answer easier to obtain. A question is either a call for an answer or for further information on a subject. Internal questioning should be a mixture between these two forms of questions.
For instance, begin with some fundamental, simple questions that begin with who, what, why and how. Then move on to some more probing questions to advance things along a bit. These questions should check your understanding of what you are asking and how much . While there isn’t a rigid formula to asking internal questions, you should make sure you ask a variety of open and closed questions.
An open question requires an expansive answer that is not yes or no. An example of this is: What does it mean to be successful ? Your answer here requires an open and abstract approach. You should now use a probing question to explore the themes you uncovered in your previous answer such as : Which of these meanings are the most important and why ?
From answering this question you will discover the value of the things you attribute to success.
Now is the time to clarify your answers with a qualifying statement : What I really want from life is… ?
This restates your objective as well as providing some fresh insight. Your final question should be a close question : What am I going to do tomorrow. Your closed question should provide an answer that gives direction rather than options.
The key to asking a proper question is timing. A well chosen reflective question can get right to the heart of an issue. A reflective question puts your gaze to the very core of your being and to the heart of an issue. A reflective question should be tightly focused and relevant to context.
However, questioning is just one half of the equation. The way to give a good answer is to be a good listener. Listening is an essential part of communication, and it is different from hearing. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems at work or home, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy. Besides which, you learn a lot from listening. As deceptively simple as listening to and acknowledging other people may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice. Everybody loves to be listened to. You have probably met someone who is a good listener and thought afterwards what an interesting person they were – even though they may have said very little. The truth is that they were giving you the chance to be interesting, so you appeared naturally warm to them.
You can turn this charm on yourself because it works in the same way. It feels amazing to ask yourself empowering questions and really get insight from your answers, just make sure its constructive not critical.
Enjoy a great summer month ahead 
Blessings, 
