The joy and happiness that fills the air during the wedding celebration tends to be short-lived, in many cases, as unpleasant experiences start unveiling in the marital relationship. The situation can become more frustrating as the defaulting partner remains unwilling to change.

Here are some issues about a partner who is not willing to change:

o Reluctance to apologize for a wrongdoing; this is one of the signals of a mate who is not willing to change for good. Such partner finds it difficult to say “I am sorry” or “forgive me” for a wrongdoing that is so glaring, and would rather look for flimsy facts to justify the actions. In extreme cases, the partner who is not willing to admit to wrong doing can even threaten or inflict physical blows on the other mate who is trying to reconcile issues.

o Unexplained or extravagant expenses; the spouse who is unwilling to adopt a positive spending habit and take responsibility for unnecessary/extravagant spending, will refuse any money management structure to curtail spending and achieve prudence in monetary matters.

o Not keeping to a date with the partner; the partner does not meaningfully apologize for disappointments and does not change. Instead, such disappointments and broken promises reoccur frequently.

o Nonchalant over the deteriorating state of the relationship, pretending that nothing is wrong and waves off suggestions by the other partner to visit a marriage counselor together.

o Partner may exhibit complete and absolute refusal to see reasons for change over every detailed issue.

Perhaps the case with your marriage relationship is listed above; there is growing frustration over your mate’s stiffness to change. The partner says one thing and completely does another without any sign of remorse or repentance. These issues can gradually sweep away the trust, love, and emotional and physical intimacy in a union. The situation can even get worse if your spouse refuses to see a need for help and counseling from relationship experts.

How can you react to these and other issues, such as non-availability of a partner in the home, no quality time for the children or you, gambling, alcoholism, infidelity, and other ills? And to make matters worse, the defaulting mate is not willing to change or seek for external help.

What to Do When Your Partner Won’t Change

The situations outlined above can be very difficult to cope with or handle in marriages where only one partner is concerned with change; but the good news is that you can get help! There are no easy answers, but these tips could help:

o You have to clearly spell out for yourself the limit you can press for change without any meaningful result. If your emotional and general health is almost being traded in pursuance of a desired change, then you have to reconsider.

o You also need to see if there are areas in which you are contributing to the problems and, therefore, need to effect necessary changes, which may also influence your partner to change.

o Try to talk things over with your spouse rather than nag and complain; a peaceful dialogue may bring the necessary changes.

o You may need to seek counseling and obtain guidelines that may help you to bring your partner to a place of acceptance for change.

I wish you all the very best you deserve, continue to Live with Passion and Be in Love Again!

P.S. For more tips, please check my upcoming site and download your ‘101 Ways to Build Lasting Relationships”

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 4th, 2010 at 1:22 am and is filed under PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.