“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

People say that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, or to break an old one.

habitforge may be able to help.

Simply enter a habit you are looking to create (daily walking, meditation, reading, etc.) or trying to break (smoking, television, wasted internet time) and you will be sent a daily email asking if you were successful on the day prior. Click yes, and your own personal counter will add a day. Click no, and and the counter will reset to the beginning.

Simple, but most brilliant, I believe.

Start putting your success on autopilot… click here to try habitforge for yourself.

Make it an outstanding day ahead, and continue to live with passion.

Those children chose to live like heros in their own way, despite the extreme material poverty they live in.

Watching TV is usually something I do not find myself doing (I am still to tune the antenna after a couple of years here), but as I was waiting at the dental clinic the other day, I was browsing through my iPhone’s TV channels, and came upon this guy on one of those talk shows. His name is Bill and there he was telling his story about how he ended up being wrongly diagnosed as being HIV positive, and lived that way for over six years!

He went into great detail about the anguish, fear and pain he had been subjected to. For over six years he has lived in fear of dying from AIDS. Now the skeptic in me wants to know why he is on TV telling his story.

Is he doing it to help others, or is there another reason – such as the more publicity he gets, the larger the settlement offer he is likely to receive from the doctor’s malpractice insurance company? I’ll let you decide.

Now to be fair, let’s face facts. The fact is, the doctor’s did make a mistake and misdiagnosed him. The doctor’s mistakenly told him he had a medical condition, which at the time seemed like a death sentence. The doctors really messed up.

On the other hand, from my point of view, Bill has another serious life-threatening condition that needs immediate attention. And this condition is much worse than HIV.

 He has a serious case of “victimitis.”

He is living his life as a victim instead of someone who was given the greatest gift a human can ever receive – the opportunity to live a consciousness life.

By conscious I mean knowing that we must live each day as though it were our last day on earth. Now the fact that he may die 30, 50, or 80 years later than he thought, is just a bonus.

But the fact is, he was given the priceless opportunity to spend every day, living in the moment with conscious thought about the people he loves, what he can do to contribute to others while he is still on this planet, and the true meaning of his life. Everything he did on a daily basis could have been filtered through a much more discerning filter than most of us have – which is to stop focusing on the future and live and create our reality in the moment.

And there is no greater gift you can receive. But to receive it, you have to let go of the belief that you are a victim of your past. Obviously something Bill is not doing. Instead, he would rather tell his “story” and remain a victim.

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine. During the conversation she told me about how she was the victim of terrible, horrific abuse when she was a child. In fact, this was not the first time she had mentioned this.

The advice I gave her was to never mention it to me ever again, or to anyone else for that matter unless she was ready to heal the situation and let it go.

But in the meantime, talking to anyone about her experiences just impresses it deeper into her subconscious mind. Since the subconscious can only focus in the present moment it thinks the abuse is happening again and again, each time she tells her “story”.

All this does is help her to hang on to her victim status. The problem is that living as a victim is an easy thing to do… I mean why would so many people, all over the world cling so desperately to situations which victimize them?

 Well, here’s a list that I came up with that I’d like to share with you today.

People willingly keep viewing themselves as victims:

1) They can tell themselves that any failure they face in the present is not their fault because of what happened in their past.

2) They can believe that people, circumstances and conditions outside of their lives are responsible for all bad things in their life.

3) They can get unending sympathy and attention from others when they tell their “story.”

4) They can use their ‘victim status’ to prevent them from getting emotionally close to others and facing rejection.

5) They can use their past experiences as justification for why they should no longer attempt to create what will make them happy in their life right now.

6) They can confirm their past programming that taught them that they are a “terrible person”, or would “never amount to anything,” or whatever other negative self belief they allowed to be instilled in themselves.

7) They can feel like a hero because they are the one of downtrodden people, fighting the forces of evil, against all the odds (as if…) 

They can feel spiritual, believing they are sacrificing their life on this planet so they will receive their true reward in the afterlife (how sad is that…)

9) They can just be basically unconscious, like most victims, and have no idea what kind of a destructive and bitter cycle they are on.

No matter which of these reasons – or more likely, combinations of reasons they have – the end result is still the same: They will continue to lead an empty, miserable life, existing day-to-day, with no real shot at happiness and fulfillment. And that is their true sickness.

To be healthy, happy and prosperous, you have to be willing to release your heroic journey against all odds, and just expect and accept you can create whatever you desire from this moment on.

Bill (the guy with the misdiagnosis) was given the greatest gift – the opportunity to live a consciousness life. He had an opportunity to break out from the unconscious herd and live a life really worth living, but instead he has decided to live his life as a victim.

Now if I seem hard on him, I plead “guilty as charged.” Somebody has to be. Because someone has to figuratively slap him – and you, and me – upside the head and make us understand that every moment is a new opportunity to recreate our lives.

If you have been holding on to your ‘victim status’ and believe you are stuck or cannot turn your life around, I have a solution for you.

If you are ready to stop living as victim and start living your life as a Creator, you are in for a treat of realization.

 All you have to do is to learn how to create your life by design instead of by default. If this is your time to step forward and claim your victory, then keep taking action and stop living as a victim, and be a Living Success instead!

Please take two minutes of your time, and confirm your Hero Status in the Comment box below.

To your continued Heroism!

Quite often in the past, I used to have a challenge to stay positive around people that are conditioned to be so negative all of the time. This can be quite challenging to maintaining your own positive vibes, dreams and aspirations.

Thankfully, after a few years of practice, I managed to create a pychological armor, so to speak, whilst still in rapport (though not negative rapport), and even end up turning them positive at times…

So I’d like to give you two tips that I have combined and work, using the Law of Attraction, that I use to remain positive, even when there are negative people around me…

Tip #1 – Focus on the Positive Aspects
The Law of Attraction has one job and that job is to match like with like. Here’s the truth of the matter… you would not be able to have access to that negative person unless you’re practicing something that is holding you in a place that you dislike.

What I mean by this is that you’ve been practicing thinking about their negative aspects and parts of their personality that you dislike. Questions like “Why can’t they be more positive?” and “They’re always so negative around me, what can I do?” is re-affirming the vibration of something you dislike. Remember, the Law of Attraction doesn’t care what you want, its job is only to match like with like. The more you complain, the more you worry and the more attention you give to the aspects of their personality that you dislike then the more you will see it.

The way to move around this is to begin focusing on the Positive Aspects of that person. What are their personality traits that you DO like? Are they funny? Do they have a soft side to them? Maybe they are really clever and you love that side to them? Whatever it is – begin focusing on those aspects of their personality and NOT the negativity that they have once shared with you.

Grab a sheet of paper right now and make a list of everything you like about them. The more you practice focusing on their positive aspects then the less you will see of their negative aspects. The Law of Attraction will not allow you to be in the same room together if you’ve practiced holding your attention on the positive aspects of that person and they are in a negative vibration. The pair of you would be magnetically repelled from one another because you are no longer in vibrational harmony with each another.

Tip #2 – Find a Thought That Feels Better
When someone with a negative attitude shoots you down, more often than not the first thing to happen is for you to respond with some form of defense. The next thing that will happen is that you will begin mental chattering about the situation. “He shouldn’t have said that to ME!” … “How dare she?” … “I wish they’d just…”. It is in this moment when your vibration is being negatively affected.

No one can actually affect your vibration except for you. In this very moment when you’re involved in mental chatter your allowing the negative comments to affect you and thus you begin talking about it. Just a little bit of this and you will begin to feel pretty miserable. The next time this situation arises and you begin the mental chatter, stop where you are and begin talking to yourself out of it.

To talk yourself out of the negativity isn’t a hard thing to do, but it just requires a little bit of time and effort. The way to do it is to find a thought that feels better than the one you currently have in your mind.

Begin by asking yourself what your current focal point is. What was the last thought you had? How do you feel right now?

Let’s use an example…

“I feel miserable because he said I was wasting my time”

Now from this starting point you must find a thought that feels just a little bit better. We’re not looking for a thought like “Everything is wonderful and I love life”, you’re looking for a thought that is real and accessible to your current situation. Maybe it would be…

“I don’t think I’m wasting my time and that is what counts”

Carry on with this game. From your new starting point of “I don’t think I’m wasting my time” try and find a thought that feels a little bit better.

“But he always says things like this to me!”

The above is a thought that may come to you. But it doesn’t actually feel better than where we just were. So in the event that this happens (and it will) you must try again and poke around in your mind for something that feels better. Before long you’ll have a mental dialog similar to…

“I feel miserable because he said I was wasting my time” STARTING POINT
“I don’t think I’m wasting my time and that is what counts” BETTER
“But he always says things like this to me!” WORSE
“I actually enjoy spending my time on self-development” BETTER
“It makes me happy and I feel like I actually know this stuff is true” BETTER
“He can have his opinion and I can have mine” BETTER
“I’m okay with his comment, that’s just a reflection of where he is at” BETTER

Your internal dialog may be much longer than this in reality, but this is just an example of how you can very quickly and easily move out of a negative moment and into a positive one.

So there you have it, two ways to remain positive! Remember the key is to take action or nothing will change for you. Give yourself some quality time and begin to move away from those negative vibrations that you’ve been allowing to keep you down.

Wishing you the best you deserve!

GratitudeLog?

Today, I received a invitation to join a new site called GratitudeLog. I checked it out and was pleasantly surprised to see what I think is a great idea and a great platform for people to raise their feelings and share their appreciation for all things.

A good friend of mine and I had a similar idea 2 years ago nearly, but never materialized anything. I’m glad a site like this has come around. If it interests you, check them out and see what you think. It’s like twitter, but for giving gratitude.

http://www.gratitudelog.com

We are all good at asking other people questions, yet not so good at directing towards ourselves…

When it comes to personal development this is a pretty important issue, for without asking questions of ourselves we will never gain insight. Think of the amount of time you have attributed  blame to someone in your lifetime; contrast that against the amount of time you have blamed yourself for something. It is much easier to accept our misfortune as the consequence of others or events outside our control. For a moment, I ask you to think about how honest you really are with yourself.

For decades many psychologists have considered individuals who have heard their inner voices as bordering on the edge of sanity. But, if you look carefully at the many great spiritual leaders, scientists, artists, musicians and social leaders, they regularly listened to their inner voices. They gratefully awakened this special inner conversation  regularly. This may sound a bit fancy, but believe me when I say that not only is it real, it’s happening right now.

It would probably surprise you to know the amount of success that comes to people who can answer questions about themselves with honesty and accuracy, key to achieving this is the ability to phrase a question. A good question should contain precise key words that make an answer easier to obtain. A question is either a call for an answer or for further information on a subject. Internal questioning should be a mixture between these two forms of questions.
 
For instance, begin with some fundamental, simple questions that begin with who, what, why and how. Then move on to some more probing questions to advance things along a bit. These questions should check your understanding of what you are asking and how much . While there isn’t a rigid formula to asking internal questions, you should make sure you ask a variety of open and closed questions.
 
An open question requires an expansive answer that is not yes or no. An example of this is: What does it mean to be successful ? Your answer here requires an open and abstract approach. You should now  use a probing question to explore the themes you uncovered in your previous answer such as : Which of these meanings are the most important and why ?
 
From answering this question you will discover the value of the things you attribute to success. 
 
Now is the time to clarify your answers with a qualifying statement : What I really want from life is… ?
This restates your objective as well as providing some fresh insight. Your final question should be a close question : What am I going to do tomorrow.  Your closed question should provide an answer that gives direction rather than options.
 
The key to asking a proper question is timing. A well chosen reflective question can get right to the heart of an issue. A reflective question puts your gaze to the very core of your being and to the heart of an issue. A reflective question should be tightly focused and relevant to context.  
 
However, questioning is just one half of the equation. The way to give a good answer is to be a good listener. Listening is an essential part of communication, and it is different from hearing. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems at work or home, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy. Besides which, you learn a lot from listening. As deceptively simple as listening to and acknowledging other people may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice. Everybody loves to be listened to. You have probably met someone who is a good listener and thought afterwards what an interesting person they were – even though they may have said very little. The truth is that they were giving you the chance to be interesting, so you appeared naturally warm to them.
 
You can turn this charm on yourself because it works in the same way. It feels amazing to ask yourself empowering questions and really get insight from your answers, just make sure its constructive not critical.

Enjoy a great summer month ahead

Blessings,

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You may or may not have heard of Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. If you are not experiencing massive success in your life at this time, then I’m pretty sure you haven’t read it. I can say that with utter conviction because it is quite simply the most eye opening and powerful book you will ever read in your life.

The writer Napoleon Hill teaches you a step by step system for using your mind to attract massive wealth not just in the financial sense, but in the sense of your ways of thinking too. It is virtually impossible to experience success without specific though patterns, and Think & Grow Rich covers them all.

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Look halfway down the page you’ll find it there.

To your Future Success

Nicolas Baron

http://thesecretvideos.tv

On asking what success means to you, all of you will give a wide range of different answers to the question.

This is because success means something different to each and all of us, but on average they come into a few select categories; love, money, happiness and health.

Some success ideas involve individual success, while others involves a group, a country or the world as a whole. If we begin by looking at the dictionary definition of success we see that it defines success as:

1. The achievement of something desired, planned or attempted: attributed their success in business to hard work.

2. The gaining of fame or prosperity: an artist spoiled by success.

3. The extent of such gain.

4. One that is successful: The plan was a success.

5. Obsolete: A result or an outcome

Source from the American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company All rights reserved.

So taking from this as the point to start from we can see that success is gained by achieving a desired outcome, and to do this we must initially come up with a clearly defined roadmap and then take the steps required to reach the ‘destination’ set. So no matter what main category your ideal of success may lie in, whether it is love, wealth, health or happiness, the recipe to achieving your goal depends on how well you plan and believe in that plan and yourself.

If we take for example someone who is about to take a test that they want to pass, either physical like a driving test or knowledgeable like an exam you need to plan how you are going to achieve the best results and become a success. For either of these things sitting down and drawing up a plan of steps, aspects to study and areas that need practice or more information, is imperative.

When you are happy with the schedule which includes a timeline to fit around other aspects of your life, hang it up where you can see it constantly. This will allow you consciously and sub-consciously be motivated at all times. Many people through no fault of their own are not motivated enough to succeed and until they take charge of themselves and find a driving source such as a desire they will not succeed. It is all too easy to think of failure as an option or a definite outcome.

This sends a message to the brain “why bother then? You are only going to fail!” this in turn will then lead to you failing anyway as you have doused the flames of desire before they even happen. This is down to low self esteem brought on by a difficult and troubled past which has leaked into your present and will affect your future. Finding the fire and helping it to burn will improve self worth, faith in your desire and allow you to actually succeed.

Once you succeed at one thing you will find that you are able to stack up success more easily next time and the time after that. Having just that one visual aide works wonders…you should try it sometimes, and you might too realize the power it will equip you with on your way to your own success.

If you enjoyed my article,  please visit http://www.thesecretvideos.tv where you can download your complimentary 5 Day e-Course and copy of Think and Grow Rich. A book that has changed the lives of thirty million people across the globe. Why wait to be the next one to make your life a masterpiece with this blueprint to success? It’s entirely up to you…

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Please leave your comments!

Enjoy and make it a  great week ahead.

Blessings,

In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week, that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.

A number of people from the blog group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their mobile phone, speedboat, hand bag, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these people, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was ‘rewarding’ and easy to maintain.

To make your marriage more rewarding, cast a look over:
www.be-in-love-again.com 

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of our cat Shalom who has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I am home and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion just for walking down the stairs, or displaying his affection by popping on my lap as I seat at my desk. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically day after day. No matter how cold the night was (cat free house at night) or no matter how busy my day has been, when I didn’t get much time to play with him.

I call this unconditional love. Even without having to leave the house, Shalom always comes to us to get and give love from us, unconditionnaly.

So what is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get cats to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.

But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.

Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! The proven strategies in my Be In Love Again e-course has helped save thousands of marriages (or establish when to call it quits), and is guaranteed to deliver results, or your money back.

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You have to go to www.be-in-love-again.com  and get my complimentary e-course and ebook, because your marriage deserves better!

Be in Love Again and Live with Passion! 

Perhaps your relationship is almost hitting rock bottom, and you’re debating if you should call it quits or muster the strength to fix it. Frankly, it could be a difficult decision when it has come down to thinking about quitting a relationship. If you’re faced with this kind of situation, you should definitely consider things before making your final decision.

What is the bone of contention in the relationship? Now, try and see if you can provide answers to the following questions. Your sincere answers to them will provide clues on what your final decision should be:

1. Does your partner flare up at the slightest things and do most discussions between you end up in squabbles?

2. Does the thought of your partner make your heart sick and weary? In essence, do you have the feeling of a looming fight at the thought of your partner’s homecoming or visit rather than anticipating it with joy?

3. Do you wish you never entered into the relationship in the first place and wished you were with someone rather than your partner?

4. Is there a dent in the respect you have for your partner? Do you still hold him/her in high esteem or has your love for each other completely died out?

5. Has there been any case of physical abuse and if so, how frequently?

6. Do you suspect your partner is cheating on you? Have you attempted a peaceful discussion about this issue of infidelity and it ended up in a fight?

7. Is there a serious communication gap between you? What steps have you taken to bridge this gap?

8. How is your sexual relationship with your partner? Is it still fun or have things gone so sour that you no longer enjoy sex, but see it as a mere ritual?

If your answers to most of the questions above are yes, you need to think deeply, weigh the circumstances appropriately and determine if you can still cope with the relationship or if you want to quit in order of peace and freedom.

However, if you still have hope somewhere in your heart that the relationship can work well again, don’t hesitate to seek assistance. One of the steps you should take is to seek proper counsel and guidance from a relationship expert.

But before you seek counsel, see if you can talk things over with your partner and devise new and better ways to present your issues, no matter how furious you are. Remember that talking has always been the best way to settle and sort out issues.

I wish you all the very best you deserve, continue to Live with Passion and Be in Love Again!

P.S. For more tips, please visit www.be-in-love-again.com and download your ‘101 Ways to Enhancing your Relationship”

Blessings,